So I decided to get out of my comfort zone...
Way out of my comfort zone.
I asked my mother if she had any Azi-medication left over from a previous prescription. She told me she'd check and then get back to me. This is somewhat how it went:
Call #1: (me): ma, do you have it?
(her): let me check... I'll call you back
tap tap tap
.... 5 hours later ....
Call #2: phone rings
(me): hello?
(her): yeah.. I have it. but you have to come pick it up
(me): ok, sure. no problem. I'll pay you for whatever is left.
(her): ok, I'll let you know when you can come over
(me): alrighty then, thanks. bye.
two minutes later
Call #3: phone rings
(me): yes?
(her): okay, yes I have it.
(me): uh-huhh......
(her): but --
(me): but what? you want me to pay for it? I already said
I would, so what's the problem?
(her): no. that's not it. It is going to sound weird,
but I want you to take it over here
(me): take what over there? the medicine?
(her): yes.
sccccriiiitchhhhhhhh
This was the sound of the fabric of my mind ripping apart from the sheer ridiculousness of her demands, and how utterly perturbed I just became. My. Mother. Just. Went. Insane. was all that narrated.
ziiiiiiiiiiiip
back to reality...
(me): EVERY single dose???????
(her): yes, I know it might sound --
(me): ok ok, fine. I'll take it front of you. You can check
under my tongue too make sure I didn't stash it
(her): rye chuckle. You can come over at 8:30 tonight
(me): ok. I'll see you later.
(her): ok. bye.
I was currently with a friend, and we were both planning on hanging out together late into the night, so she tagged along with me to my familial excursion. We both headed in and were immediately turned dumb and blind. You could hardly see anything past my mother's beaming smile and constant laughter at virtually everything that came out of anyone's mouth. I was living a scene out of Philip Kaufman's "Invasion of the body snatchers." My spidey senses were tingling! I was -- well... you get the point.
All I could think was: where did my mother go?
Her opaque state of fakeness only made me more nauseous than the pills I was already taking. Only for an infinitesimal part of a second did I think, hmm... I wonder if she's actually become pleasant.... But only for a second! I was able to place my temporary short circuited thought where it belonged, hidden in a nice deep dark damp corner in the recesses of my mind when I visited her the day after all on my own. To which -- by the way, she specified to be another term of our exchange via a text I received at 3:29 this afternoon:
I don't want you asking people for
rides to the house every day
If you want I can meet you
somewhere (eg. FIU) and bring
the medicine. I will be working
there anyway.
My reaction: Wow.
Just wow.
I wanted to recant my beforehand statement that I would accept her odd (to say the least) demands. Yet I still went over because she had the upper hand, and well the only hand in the game. If this was high stakes poker, the only thing I would hold was a single lowly 2 of hearts, while she would hold a royal flush... in diamonds. Her behavior the entire time I was there resembled that of an ailing banshee, screaming and hissing wherever she flew. I went for my daily dose of antibiotics, but what I got was a daily dose of Methusa's rage (not a banshee, I know but.. eh!). I swear if I could paint an accurate depiction of how she looked throughout the ordeal, it would look something like this:
Scary? Honey, you don't know the half of it.
After an hour, her reign of terror ended only because she was called
back to the bat cave from whence my father came. Which left me a
few minutes to enjoy my many brothers and sisters. Mostly my little
sister Amy who movesher hands as if she were wearing a silly old
sock puppet while a song is playing because as she so adorably
says, the birdies (her hands) have to sing! She told me to do the
same in order to have the "Mommy" birdies (my hands) sing with
the "Baby" birdies (her hands). I just wanted to squish her little
head off, she was just too cute! Ahh.. I missed her.
I really felt the urge to leave after they all started tearing my purse
apart because they saw a little plastic bag with miniature chocolate
candy. It was time to bolt. I was no longer in Miami, Florida, no -- I
was in Pamploma, Spain. It was the festival of San Fermin, I was
El torro and they were all runners at Encierro, and I had to fight for
my life. Except, unlike the bull, I had no horns to protect me from
their high pitched screams and clawing hands, only my two feet --
as long as they were not stepping on them. I made it to the car. I
could breathe.
Exhale.
God I love those kids!
All in all, the visit was normal. As normal as you can get in my
parents house. I have to go back there again tomorrow, so we
will see how that goes.
It is getting late... so goodnight all!
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