You can't handle the truth

Everyday, after every session here at work I have to write a session log, reporting what took place in the session. I wish for once I could be truly honest about how I felt about what went on. A majority of the students here try their hardest to take advantage of the tutors, trying to get them to do their homework and just give them the answers to things outrightly, without them putting a single cent of effort into the pile. It is exhausting trying to keep up with their "arguments" to convince you it is your job to help them NOT learn. So I was writing a session log and this is what I wrote:

The student brought all needed material for the session. They worked on ALECKS and completed the homework that was due today. They seem to have a mediocre handle on the material, and needs more practice.

This is what I REALLY wanted to write:

I do not know why people prefer niceties as opposed to the actual reality of the situation. They would rather avoid the present and pretend it does not exist. They would rather let problems pile up until they are virtually unmanageable, until they face them head on. Which makes me wonder, why? It is not as if we do not know the situation will get worse, we just rather tell ourselves that it is not true.

I feel this occurs because we rather not blame ourselves. If we let it get to a point where we cannot handle, then we can kick and scream that an injustice has been done to us -- that life is not fair. We want to be victims.

Victimizing oneself allows us to get away with things that normally we would get in trouble for. It allows us to get positive attention for a negative circumstance. We are comforted and told everything will alright. This causes us to feel better about ourselves and the current state of being. It may not be consciencely carried out, however, through positive reenforcement, we make these kinds of situations to repeat themselves, just to receive that coddling at the end.

If you don't believe me, then take this case for example:

An attractive woman is walking with her friend in the mall. She is dressed nice, her hair done and all necessary makeup is applied. A man walks by looks her straight in the eye and smiles. He may or may not be slightly attractive. Attractive would be better. After he passes, she then turns to her friend, spurning with anger, and says, "did you see that?! how could he look at me?!" She appears to be righteously indignant.

She isn't.

She delivers a negative message, just to receive a positive reply.

Her friend will then say, "oh my god, yeah.. that was weird. But I guess that means he thinks you are pretty."

She then responds, "Yeah I guess so!" And thus the cycle is completed.

What can we conclude from this?

We are fucked up.